Post by SELENA IANTHE KOZMA on Dec 5, 2010 18:27:28 GMT -5
SELENA IANTHE KOZMA
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LENA , TWENTY ONE , COLUMBIA STUDENT , JUNO
AN OLD MYSPACE SURVEY FROM WHEN SHE WAS LIVING IN GREECE (AGE EIGHTEEN)
1. WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WHO SMOKES?
YA, I SMOKE ALL THE TIME
I KNOW, I KNOW, UNHEALTHY
DON'T GIVE ME SHIT MARIA OKAY
2. WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE WHO WAS ADDICTED TO DRUGS?
WHAT KIND OF DRUGS?
3. WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
PROBABLY
IF THEY'RE HOT
4. WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST TURN OFF?
NASTY TEETH
I'M NOT A ROADWHORE, I CAN'T HANDLE THAT SHIT
5. WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST TURN ON, PHYSICALLY?
UM, IDK
I LIKE ABS
AND FACIAL HAIR
6. WHERE WOULD YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE?
THE BACK ALLEY
7. MOST HURTFUL RELATIONSHIP?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT
(BUT REALLY IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MESSAGE ME AND I'LL TELL YOU)
8. EVER REGRETTED BREAKING UP WITH SOMEBODY?
... YA, BREAKING UP WITH YOUR DEALER IS A BAD DEAL MAN
9. HAVE YOU EVER DATED SOMEONE MORE THAN ONCE?
YEP
HI BABY <3
10. DO YOU MISS ANY OF YOUR EXES?
ABSOLUTELY NOT
11. WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST TURN ON, NOT PHYSICALLY?
UM.
UM.
...
UM.
12. ARE YOU SINGLE NOW?
NO.
HI BABY <3
13. WHAT IS THE SWEETEST THING SOMEONE YOU DATED DID FOR YOU?
RUBBED MY BACK WHEN I STRAINED IT TRYING TO DO YOGA SO I COULD FIT IN MY PANTS AGAIN
14. LAST TIME YOU GOT FLOWERS?
NEVER
15. ARE YOU READY TO GET INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW?
YA
HI BABY <3
16. DO YOU LIKE CUDDLING?
ONLY AFTER ROUGH SEX
17. DO YOU HOLD GRUDGES?
NOT REALLY
I DON'T THINK ANYONES REALLY PISSED ME OFF THAT BAD YOU KNOW?
18. DO YOU REGRET DATING ANYONE?
WELL THAT ONE GUY THAT'S TEETH ARE SITTING ON HECTOR'S BATHROOM COUNTER I FEEL BAD FOR
DOES THAT COUNT?
19. HUGS OR KISSES?
BOTH
20. MISSING SOMEONE?
NOPE
21. MOST IMPORTANT LESSON YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM DATING?
DO NOT CRY.
DO NOT CRY.
IT'S A DEAL BREAKER.
22. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET YOU ON A DATE?
A PACK OF CONDOMS AND A COAT HANGER
23. ARE YOU HAPPILY SINGLE OR IN A RELATIONSHIP?
DATING MY DEALER
WHAT DO YOU THINK
24. WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A RELATIONSHIP?
SEX
LOTS OF SEX
25. WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE, NO QUESTIONS ASKED?
IF THEY MAKE SHITTY SANDWICHES
NO I'M KIDDING
I DUNNO IF THEY WERE AN ASS ABOUT SOMETHING
26. HAVE YOU EVER LOVED SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T LOVE YOU BACK?
NOPE
27. FAVORITE EX?
STILL DATING HIM
28. HOW IMPORTANT ARE LOOKS?
VERY IMPORTANT
YOU CAN'T DATE AN UGLY FUCKER
29. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE?
I SHIT BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS
30. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF SHY?
LOL
31. WOULD YOU RATHER DATE SOMEONE WHO WAS SUPER HOT OR SUPER NICE?
SUPER HOT
YEAH
SUPERFICIAL
32. IF SOMEONE CHEATED ON YOU, WOULD YOU TAKE THEM BACK IF YOU REALLY LOVED THEM?
WHO WOULD CHEAT ON ME
33. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ASHAMED OF ANYONE YOU WERE DATING?
YEAH
WE ONLY FUCKED UNDER THE STAIRS
34. DO YOU CURRENTLY WANT TO DATE?
EH
35. THING THAT MADE YOU THE HAPPIEST TODAY?
I CAME
36. WOULD YOU EVER DATE SOMEONE YOUR PARENTS DISAPPROVED OF?
WHAT PARENTS
OH YOU MEAN HECTOR?
YEAH
IT'S MY SPORT
37. DO YOU STAY FRIENDS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU DATE?
NOPE
38. FAVORITE MEMORIES WITH AN EX?
NOPE
39. WOULD YOU FIGHT OVER SOMEONE YOU WANTED TO BE WITH?
MAYBE
PROBABLY
40. DO YOU KISS ON THE FIRST DATE?
I FUCK ON THE FIRST DATE
41. WOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE A LOT OLDER OR YOUNGER THAN YOU?
OLDER, NOT YOUNGER
THAT'S WEIRD
MUCH YOUNGER AND THEY'D BE BABIES
42. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN LIED TO?
NOPE, NEVER
43. EVER BEEN CHEATED ON?
YA
LOVE YOU BABY
44. DO YOU THINK THE WORD LOVE IS OVERUSED?
I DON'TTT CARE
45. EVER BEEN CALLED A WHORE?
ERRDAY
COLLEGE INTERVIEW FOR FULL SCHOLARSHIP TO COLUMBIA (AGE NINETEEN)
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF:
"well, i'm five foot six. and a half. i dye my hair so much it's falling out. i know you probably want me to tell you i'm the most studious person you've ever met - that i'll spend days curled up with a book, not eating, not pissing, not bothering to talk to anyone because i have to finish that book, i have to know how it ends. but that's a lie. i like to spend my time with other people - i'm social, i get bored easy, i'm not really passive at all. actually, i'm quite the opposite. i prefer wild and crazy to sedate and dull. columbia's probably not the university for me, because, while i want desperately to be and to get the best education i can (and believe me, your facility is quite lovely), the only reason i'm able to be here at all is because of my darling brother, hector. he's an ass, but he loves me, and he thinks i deserve this. so i guess i do. that's another thing - i have a brother. he's twenty four, and absolutely phenomenal. my home life was all right, i'm not going to turn this into a sob session, and i did very well in school. i meet all the prerequisites to attend your college. i can do it. i'm just not sure if it's me wanting to do it, or if it's hector wanting me to do it, but if he wants me to do it then i want to do it. so i guess it's right. what about you, you have a wife and kids? do you frequently get told she's a milf by your son's friends?"
WHAT MAKES YOU INTERESTED IN OUR COLLEGE:
"well, apart from it's matriculating student's incredible scholastic achievements, i've heard wonderful things from the alumni and i'd like to join them in the work force. my mom died, and i couldn't help her - i'd like to attend the nursing program here to help others save their parents, siblings, grandparents, etcetera."
RECOMMEND A GOOD BOOK TO ME.
"well, my favorite book of all time is sex and the city. it doesn't seem like you'd be the type to enjoy something like that - or maybe you would. i don't know what you read, what genre do you prefer?"
DESPITE THE BREVITY OF THIS INTERVIEW (PLEASE FORGIVE ME, MY WIFE IS CALLING REPEATEDLY IN THE FRONT OFFICE), I DO HAVE A FINAL QUESTION I'D LIKE TO PRESENT YOU WITH: IF YOU COULD BE LIKE ANY ONE FICTIONAL OR HISTORICAL CHARACTER, WHO WOULD IT BE?
"well, save the best for last, i always say. if i could choose a fictional character, i'd most definitely have to say hannibal lecter. before you wrinkle up your forehead like i'm a cannibal, i'd like to better explain myself. i have two reasons, really, i guess. the first is that - obviously - he's the most intelligent character i've ever seen written. i devoured each and every one of the books, even quicker than sex and the city. unfortunately, my second reasons isn't nearly as intellectual as i would hope - i really do enjoy the fact that he doesn't ever blink. i think it's bad ass. say hi to your wife for me, i have to go. also, sir, i understand if you don't pick me to represent your college. i'm not exactly what i would call a prime candidate. while i think when i succeed to great lengths, you would regret your decision, it may take me a while to bloom. after all, i was a late bloomer, always. perhaps i'm a bit rough, but i think with the proper polishing i can be a real gem, and consider my brother's emotions when taking into account this horrific disaster of an interview. thank you for your time. hopefully you'll be ringing my telephone soon."
