Post by hector NICODEMUS KOZMA on Dec 5, 2010 17:59:14 GMT -5
HECTOR NICODEMUS KOZMA
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NONE, TWENTY SIX , CITIZEN , JUNO
i brush away the sympathies that lie with you, pushing them aside to stroke your cheek, and instead you turn against my hands. sometimes i wonder if i'm doing it wrong, if being a son is a chore simply not for me. i've sent you money, mother, countless checks and payments for those bills you always complained about, the endless, piling bills lending themselves to our poverty by doubling only as firewood. you always send it back, a month later, and the neat line down the middle in black permanent marker on both sides of the tear tells me you at least know who it's from, despite the anonymous envelope and blank check. H.K. is printed in the upper left corner, perhaps this is your dry interpretation of humor? perhaps i should never contact you again, and then you would be happy. because then you couldn't send anything back in the mail, and then you wouldn't have to waste stamps. you're probably assuming i'm doing this for you, this boundless generosity thing, sending all of my extra change back home like a good son should. wouldn't you be interested in knowing that i could care less whether or not you lived or died, and that the above written sentiments were only so you'd continue reading long enough to hear this, this simple brief statement i deign to speak to you. my lips are following my hand as the angry word spill my fingers, and i write in bolder print so you better understand: i despise you.
i feel that you and your kind lessen the world infinitely. i also feel like the waiting i had to do in order to send my thoughts your way is a hassle, a waste of my life. my blinds clink together, and i think of you, and the annoyance you've caused me in my brief twenty six years. every breath you take infringes on my own breathing; i counted down the days until you died, you useless whore, i hate you with every minuscule fiber of my being. and not only do i hate you for destroying my life, but i hate you for being too infinitely stupid to figure out what a condom was before you popped out another hindrance on humanity, my sister, selena. and for not thinking about the possible consequences for naming your child selena after the dead spanish singer. actually, i just hate you in general. there are no specific circumstances that enhanced my feelings towards you. i was out of the womb, and my first thoughts were 'this woman is nothing but a pustule on the face of humanity'. everything you do is wrong. i'm happy you're dead. so happy, in fact, that tomorrow i'm going to bring selena and together we're going to dance on your grave, and she's going to spit on it, and we're going to laugh and have a bonfire with all of your things in the park downstream. care to join us? fantastic. we'll burn your remains as well. bury them up and burn them, and then steal back all the money we spent on your gilded coffin because it wasn't worth it, not at all. i can think of thousands of things i'd rather spend it on than you, and your stupid quotes and your stupid glazed eyes and your hateful smile before you backhanded me for speaking the truth (i was never anything but a truthful child, you brutish woman), and even worse was the expression of disgust on your heinous face as you glanced upon your second child, your selena. my selena.
she's more my child then she will ever be yours. with this in mind, i've renamed her lena - i find the consequences of this much less threatening then your disturbing choices of namesake, i want you to know that also, and that eternally she'll call herself lena, after me, and not selena after you. maybe if you'd awakened yourself from the nebulous state you lay in repeatedly, drooling on the couch, you could have taken part in the life you spawned, but instead it was i who took her places and did things with her and you who'd taken away her father, the only person who had a chance of loving her despite you. she's studying nursing on a full scholarship to columbia. it affects me not at all if you're proud. enjoy hell.regards,-hector
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